Two Years With Type One Diabetes
Two years with type one diabetes and I still can’t believe it! It feels like I just got diagnosed yesterday. I can remember the trip to the ER and the hospital stay so vividly. At the same time it feels like I’ve had type one diabetes for years. The day of my “diaversary” I really get in my feeeels and like to reflect on my diagnosis and my health. My diagnosis story that I posted on my last diaversary is in another blog post linked here. It’s still unbelievable that I got diagnosed with type one diabetes. I go through my days injecting myself with insulin, replacing dexcoms, counting carbs, thinking about my blood sugar probably every minute of every day, yet I don’t really give it much thought. I just do it. So, when I sit down and take a second to reflect, I sometimes have a hard time believing that this is really my life.
I’ve had type one diabetes for two years now which kind of feels like a long time. I’ve been doing this diabetes thing for two whole years. It feels like I should know more, be doing more and doing better. It feels like I should have a better A1C. It feels like I should know everything there is to know about type one diabetes. It feels like I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself.
As I reflect, I can’t believe how little knowledge we have or are given around this diagnosis. Many of us learn the basics of counting our carbs. We’re given a rough estimate of what our insulin to carb ratios are. Many of us are told to have exactly 15g of fast acting carbs whenever our blood sugar drops below 70, and that exercise (of any kind) will make your blood sugar drop. But as I have learned, type one diabetes management is not a one size fits all approach. This is the one illness where our doctors are not giving us a specific prescription of how much insulin to take. It is always changing. Our insulin needs are different depending on what we eat, when we eat it, and how much of it we eat. For women, our insulin needs are also changing throughout the four phases of our menstrual cycle, so on average every week. It took me a while to learn that the menstrual cycle even effects blood sugar management. There is so much I have learned these past two years but so much more still to learn.
What I’ve Learned:
There’s a quote in A Return to Love that says, “It’s not up to us what we learn, but only whether we learn through joy or through pain.” Type one diabetes has taught me a lot in the past two years. I have learned so much about myself, my mindset, my body, and my endocrine system, and I feel like I am only scratching the surface. Most importantly, type one diabetes has taught me strength and resilience above all else. It’s in the low moments where character is formed and where strength is built.
Strength is defined as the “capacity to withstand great force or pressure”, and that is exactly what type one diabetes has taught me. To withstand the difficulties. The strength to get up and move through the hard things. The strength to get up after you’ve been knocked down. Type one diabetes knocks me down, but I’ve learned not to stay down. Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. I still find myself getting frustrated, shedding tears, and being annoyed, but I’ve learned to acknowledge what I’m feeling, feel it, then let it go. I have a lot more day to day difficulties now that I am dealing with type one diabetes, but having resilience is what gets me through them with ease. Things that used to bother me don’t quite bother me as much anymore. When my Dexcom fails in the middle of the workday and I’m finger pricking in the bathroom all day I don’t really find myself getting bothered by it. Is it annoying? Yes. But me getting annoyed doesn’t really help the situation. It’s about the ability to move through difficulties.
What I’m Working On:
Type one diabetes is the circumstance that I have been given. I may not be able to change this circumstance, but I can change how I react, how I show up, how I take care of myself and my health. I feel like type one diabetes has woken me up to what really needs to change in my life, and while doing so, I feel like I am becoming more authentically myself each day. As Dr. Joe Dispenza likes to say, “nothing changes until we change.” I can’t expect to heal if I keep doing the same things that brought me to where I am.
I am honestly in awe of the human body and how hard it works each day to keep us alive. I am constantly wanting to learn more about my healing and my health. I am continuing to learn about the healthy changes that I need to make in my life. I am really learning about the endocrine system as a whole, and about how important not only blood sugar management is, but keeping my hormones, adrenals and metabolism healthy. I am learning how important the liver is in detoxification because we are met with so many toxins throughout our days from the processed foods we eat to the products we use in our home and on our skin. Healing absolutely is not linear, nor is it easy, but true healing takes time.
A huge part of my healing process is due to meditation, journaling, and books that I have read. My favorite books that helped me through my diagnosis are A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson and You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I find myself still coming back to these books constantly.
Don’t forget to be grateful for where you are, even if it may not be exactly where you want to be, and don’t forget to always celebrate the small wins.
Sending so much love!
Xoxo
Gab
